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Sometimes in life, the season turns to winter.  It feels harsh, unfair, cold, and lonely.  In some ways, I feel that is where we have been, stripped bare to the core, vulnerable to the harsh realities of life.  Here we are at the beginning of 2011, another page turned, unwritten words waiting to be penned upon the open space of white.  I have been thinking about making resolutions for this New Year, yet hesitating, not wanting to fall short, until I stumbled upon this today.  This is my resolution for 2011, to GROW in GRACE.  Painful, yet so beautiful when the new growth shoots it's green through the dullness.  Grow me, Lord Jesus...this year is for You!

    “Grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.”

— 2 Peter 3:18

"Grow in grace”—not in one grace only, but in all grace. Grow in that root-grace, faith. Believe the promises more firmly than you have done. Let faith increase in fullness, constancy, simplicity. Grow also in love. Ask that your love may become extended, more intense, more practical, influencing every thought, word, and deed. Grow likewise in humility. Seek to lie very low, and know more of your own nothingness. As you grow downward in humility, seek also to grow upward —having nearer approaches to God in prayer and more intimate fellowship with Jesus. May God the Holy Spirit enable you to “grow in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour.” He who grows not in the knowledge of Jesus, refuses to be blessed. To know him is “life eternal,” and to advance in the knowledge of him is to increase in happiness. He who does not long to know more of Christ, knows nothing of him yet. Whoever hath sipped this wine will thirst for more, for although Christ doth satisfy, yet it is such a satisfaction, that the appetite is not cloyed, but whetted. If you know the love of Jesus—as the hart panteth for the water-brooks, so will you pant after deeper draughts of his love. If you do not desire to know him better, then you love him not, for love always cries, “Nearer, nearer.” Absence from Christ is hell; but the presence of Jesus is heaven. Rest not then content without an increasing acquaintance with Jesus. Seek to know more of him in his divine nature, in his human relationship, in his finished work, in his death, in his resurrection, in his present glorious intercession, and in his future royal advent. Abide hard by the Cross, and search the mystery of his wounds. An increase of love to Jesus, and a more perfect apprehension of his love to us is one of the best tests of growth in grace. 

Spurgeon, C. H., Morning and Evening : Daily Readings (Complete and unabridged; New modern edition.). Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers.

Dear Jesus,

Help Mommy to share toys, and her not disobey to me.  I like my firehat. Help the fireman, I will share my hat…but it's my hat.  It's not Andrew's hat, or Mommy's either, or Daddy's either.  It's Reagan's…

And on goes the prayer, a very Reaganish prayer, but oh the boy does like to pray.

Andrew struggles sometimes with kindness toward his brother. He was being sneaky about it, making mean faces to Reagan behind our backs in the car. Aaron catches it in the rearview mirror and proceeds to talk about how God sees everything, even if we don't. After pondering this for a second, Andrew says "Does He tell you?"

The conversation went like this:

Andrew: "Mommy, is Reagan going to the Dr. to get a shot?"

Me: "No, he's going to a laboratory to have some blood drawn out of his arm."

Andrew: "Oh."

Silence.

Andrew: "Is he going to get an ouchy?"

Me: "Yes, it will hurt a little bit."

Andrew: "Mommy, is Reagan going to cry?"

Mommy: "Yes, I do think he will cry, but don't worry, he will be okay."

Pause.  Pause.

Andrew, turning toward little brother "Awww, Reagan I will pray for you okay?"

It was one of those moments that just grabs a mommy's heart.  Through a constricted throat and tear filled eyes, I praised my oldest for being so thoughtful of his brother and told him that he had just pleased God.

After some more conversation about Mommy's "happy tears" etc., he realized that the trip to the lab was going to include him.

Andrew: "Oh, I'm going too.  I guess I won't have to pray for you now, Reagan!"

More explaining, then an impromptu prayer of a 4 yr. old for his little brother and the moment had passed.  Thank you God!